Untitled 05

   A new day,
   A new day,
   Because something happened as I slept through. 

   As my eyes opened, the white light didn’t come from your wings.
   Your presence wasn’t felt,
   Your face wasn’t kissed. 

   As my eyes opened I couldn’t question anymore.
   Everything was just certain.
   Getting up wasn’t right. 

   So I kept my eyes opened
   And cried until there were no more tears,
   For your hands weren’t there to comfort me. 

   Today I regret my enmity towards photographs.
   Today I betrayed my eternal vow towards you.
   Today I forgot your face. 

   I've realized, finally, that I cannot remember everything.
   I've realized, finally, that even you would one day vanish.
   I've realized, finally, that at this point I’m better off dead. 

   Could I even say I love you more than anything, now?
   Are you even real anymore?
   How come you left me alone again? 

   You know what I noticed today?
   The bedroom roof is beige;
   Color-harbinger, the cool of a death bed. 

   So many of my tragedies are accompanied by the beige,
   So many misfortunes, so many losses, so many regrets.
   You didn’t meet her, but Sofia was one of those. 

   The house I lived in at the time had a beige roof
   But I didn’t noticed it until the distress call,
   And now I see this color will haunt me forever. 

   I wonder if the heaven is beige,
   My alémorte sure is, I hope yours too.
   But I also hope to share mine with you. 

   When I couldn’t feel the burning in my eyes anymore
   I went back to feeling nothing
   And my brain shut down. 

   Black,
   Noire,
   Nero, 

   Enveloped in tar,
   Asphyxiation in the void,
   Ethereal death in oblivion. 

   How I wish I was dead.
   How I wish I wasn’t writing this.
   How I wish I could see you just one more time. 

   To keep going is to live a lie, don’t you understand?
   Why did you make me love life so much?
   Who gave you the right to abandon me like that? 

   I cannot live without your light.
   The memory of you has always been my most prized possession,
   I cannot be me without you. 

   When I came back to my senses it was night already.
   The cat was watching me.
   I saw in her eyes that my time had come;

   but there were bars on the windows.
   Can I even count this as an attempt?
   When did it get so bad?

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