I AM MY NIGHTMARE MIRROR

   A stray dog, a homeless grandma    A naked deviant, a sad crippled    Family members and fellow cultists    Gays and straights    The lesbians kiss on the pool    The middle-age couples spoon on the dance floor    All drinking the same alcohol    All peeing in the same toilets    Mingling, feasting    Eating all meats, mixing all liquids    Happiness — as in itself — in the air    Tiny pink baby angels guide this moment to success    Such beauty to see, so colorful    So many great minds, so many great bodies    Diversity in essence    No prejudice in access      Jesus hits on the bimbo    The bimbo rejects Jesus    Jesus hits on the old biker    The old biker rejects Jesus    Jesus then drunkenly rambles    About the sad situation of this country’s economy      The satanist clown arrives    Full shooter outfit, face covered in makeup    Goes around the t ables  downing all the half-full cups    Then strips to nothing but tiny blue trunks    And cannonballs into the pool    As time

    White and brown    Opaque hazel eyes    Designer blouse and white jeans    Carries heavy grocery bags    Decadence in elegance      Cut wrists, long gloves    Empty black eyes    Stone heart devoid of soul    Crossed legs, dirty Dr. Martens,    [sat on the chaise longue    Elegance in decadence   ***    Silver Rolex and Polo outfit    Jack inside the Aquafina bottle   ***     “Today I found out that doesn’t matter how much I open up to you, you’ll never understand what it means to be worthy of my problems. You will always succumb to your human needs, you will never resist the indifference. I will always lose you, because you’re not what I need. You are so little.     “A sad reality tis to be so passionate about you vermin, and wish to lower one’s self to the level of such puny beings. And here I am, thinking you could be something you never will: better than yourself. Giving myself up to you, and not even being rejected; only realizing you’d never be in a place to accept a gift so