last halloween

(outdated version//new version on the book)

after noticing my eyes on you
your eyes turned to me
saw on my face something I could never describe
and they glistened and you looked away
my half smile when you looked back was enough to make you lose control
and whisper the feeling burning up your throat
i love you 

and I felt bad for you
because that smile was more pity than affection
you were lost in me
and had no idea of how dark would be the future
not knowing the amount of influence I had built up on you
lacking the ability to stand up on your jelly legs
eaten by the butterflies in your stomach 

you’re behind me and I feel your eyes
with beams of love covering my body whole
and it makes me more and more depressed
unable to say a word and start a conversation
ashamed of my lack of feeling for you
and how I can’t avoid keeping your hopes up
only to feed on this blind adulation 

one of us has to die tonight
pumpkins will be smashed in the backyard
and it wont be me for I have the stake
and in the next season all will be covered in green and orange
for you to suffer as long as I can keep you alive
we will bake pies and carve jack-o-lanterns
and go home in the morning, weeping
then go scare some kids, hiding in the alley

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Untitled 04

Hi Hello How are you feeling today? Not much. What about you? I’m here. Yes, you are. Yep. I am. Why are you here? Do I need a reason? (How does one fill the silence that follows?) ***    I remember that afternoon. That strange afternoon when you told me to shut up, to not be a bitch, and I was too overwhelmed by my own feelings to see that you were crying too. To be fair, you were doing the dishes, I could only see your back every time I opened my eyes, through the blurry haze of painful tears. The sweat got into my eyes, and you know how it hurts when you just finish a coat of sunscreen and sweat get into your eyes, right? Double-pain, mourn on the necrotic-narcotic, you knew my friend had died just last night. I know you know that ‘cause he was your friend too. You got his cool Merzbow collection, and said it’s ours, you said I could take the first run 1996 Pulse Demon used CD with me after we listened to it together. You know how to cheer me up, how to make me smile t...
Read more

home at last

   We arrive, finally, at the building’s front door. Out of the car and barely able to stay on my feet I sit on the sidewalk, back to the wall, waiting for Priscilla to find the keys amongst the mess in her backpack.     “You know what just came to mind?” I ask.     “That you are way too hungry to be spending this much time looking for keys and we should just crash at the dumpster tonight for christ’s sake? Maybe order some pizza?” She replied, clearly fed up to give a shit but doing her best not to break my heart.    But I was too numb to care, and responded,     “No, I was thinking about Bovary. Did you feed her this week?”     “Of course I did, what? If I didn’t papa would come back to life and beat my ass. He loves these fucking cats more than me.”     She finds the keys after a while, but not before the manager comes down to check what was going on and open the door for us.      Today was one ...
Read more

an "ode" to all my friends

old friends everywhere, waves, nods, ‘mornings to sit down at the empty café and hear the latest gossip or even feel the sweat pooling on my back for I still insist in wearing these heavy clothes even mid-summer this time sat on one of my benches, in one of my parks looking at all the city pricks passing by at all the traffic outside the gate at all the gray in this world wild concrete world, house to all that’s modern, to all that’s me even me not being all that modern a den made to fit me like a buff man’s pinky ring and also all of my friends, mineral, vegetal, animal like that big rock you find driving out of town for a bit or the pothead homeless that knows my name, rocking a 100$ bong or even, and would you look at that, the handful of people with an active role in my life chatters, lovers, friends and foes the kids, the teens, the adults, the olds a cheer from the poor homeless at the shelter a group hug from the children at the orphanage a couple handshakes and smiles at the nu...
Read more