last halloween

(outdated version//new version on the book)

after noticing my eyes on you
your eyes turned to me
saw on my face something I could never describe
and they glistened and you looked away
my half smile when you looked back was enough to make you lose control
and whisper the feeling burning up your throat
i love you 

and I felt bad for you
because that smile was more pity than affection
you were lost in me
and had no idea of how dark would be the future
not knowing the amount of influence I had built up on you
lacking the ability to stand up on your jelly legs
eaten by the butterflies in your stomach 

you’re behind me and I feel your eyes
with beams of love covering my body whole
and it makes me more and more depressed
unable to say a word and start a conversation
ashamed of my lack of feeling for you
and how I can’t avoid keeping your hopes up
only to feed on this blind adulation 

one of us has to die tonight
pumpkins will be smashed in the backyard
and it wont be me for I have the stake
and in the next season all will be covered in green and orange
for you to suffer as long as I can keep you alive
we will bake pies and carve jack-o-lanterns
and go home in the morning, weeping
then go scare some kids, hiding in the alley

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