THE LOST TAPES Vol.37

Trans kid with a trans flag on her back
Proud of being herself
Kissing every mouth that’s open
Took the money, went into alley
Grizzly old rag got his dick sucked
New Sex on the Beach in her hand
A sassier smile on her face
“Spread the word, old man
Mama wants a new leather jacket” 

***

sticky; sucking, touching
black skies, yellow music
rainbow colored flags travel around
a sea of rainbow colored hands

***

“Want to play my Mockinbird?”
—now that’s how you get a girl to suck your dick— 

***

Calliope is at the church
Make of hope a return
—to the old ways—
For ‘tis a mad venture we’re in
[...] 

***

Over a decade apart
My lean hands touch the robust body of a double bass
In a kind of reunion unforgettable, unpredictable
As I flop away the notes of Excursions 

Letting go, there’s a newfound emptiness on the outside
Fingers moving, playing air
Yellow smile, sad countenance
Holding in tears as we say goodbye 

***

teenage daughter is bored, at the counter
murmurs a good afternoon
overly aggressive pianist father spanks mad keys
before noticing our presence 

***

   “I really don’t understand the idea” he said. “Why stoop so low? Why hate so much?”
   “The sheer difference between shock and logic is what’s going to save this planet” I responded. “They won’t hear, the man is ignorant. But they will feel when the bullet hits.” 

***

life has become a state of constant expectance for the weekend
life has become a more mature mirror of the past
life has become a bit easier than it’s supposed to be
now there’s no shirt of mine that doesn’t smell like cigarettes 

waiting for my tape to come out
waiting for my film to come out
waiting for the money to come in
why do I make myself wait? 

laziness, boredom or the aftermath of too long a stasis?
at least not depression
uncertain silence at the harem
need a teenage riot to get me out of bed right now 

fake pearls adorn my neck
I feel beautiful for once
tongue licking through me[, mastermind]
knowing what comes next 

play the drums
every little wrist pain freaks me out
carpal tunnel ghost haunting me
but I too vehemently want to be like meg white 

black and white p fender
notes potent break glass
tears through my lungs
Pervey 70w, gotta use ear plugs 

D-beat, slap, screeches
Distorting, fuzzing; tape recorder bugging out
influence, inspiration, aspiration
but time passed and nothing came 

ain’t good enough
never good enough
tapes thrown in the trash
stolen to be recycled

gotta eat some beans to have stamina for rehearsal tonight
gin and vodka and two cans of monster
out of rhythm, heart racing, the string snaps
hate myself when pick sounds better

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