Luna

   She nudges me with her elbow, we both sat at a sidewalk bench, watching the cars pass by,
   “Did you check out those sideboobs?”
   “Of course I did, huge milkers,” I respond.
   “I wonder if they’re real milkers. Bet she’s pretty proud of them.”
   “Yeah, look there,” I point at the huge milkers lady across the street, that is now talking with a group of other women, holding the baby picked up from a stroller.
   “Oh, so she really is a mom,” says she, realizing the obvious. “Those do look very milkful.”
   “Though not milkful enough.”
   “And how much is enough?”
   “Enough to cover the whole kitchen floor, in flood.”
   “Oh,” she chuckles, “I got that. Like that movie, right?”
   “Yeah. Miike. Did you know he also directed ‘Audition’?”
   “That one with the piano wire? Got you. The Japanese really do know how to make their horror entertaining.”
   “Yeah...” I said, before pausing to check on another pair of marvelous boobs. “Look there, those are some nice milkers.”
   “Straight Ds, respect that. They remind me of Lucy. Do you remember Lucy?”
   “The big-tittied whore?”
   “The big-tittied whore. That girl’s hips were the size of a house, I.U.D. at ten; she was destined to be a whore. god given talent, straight up.”
   “Oh, yeah. I remember she would suck you up like an ice pop, be it boy be it girl.”
   “Damn... How many lonely nights of mine she had cured I can't count on my fingers. A devilish angel she was.”
   “And she had them H-cups too. Best pillows I have ever tried. Rest in peace.”
   “Rest in peace. Hope daddy’s lap is warm in freezing hell, am I right?”
   And we laugh at the expense of a dead person,
   “Now, another memorable pair was Luna’s,” she says.
   “That’s true, hers were just right. Perfect in shape, consistency, color. Two beautiful round pillows.”
  “The only time I’ve seen them, though, was in that show night, do you remember? The concert at Marcel’s?”
   “Of course, I do. That was her ultimate groupie move. But to be fair, though, we did play her song. It was more a transaction than a gift.”
   “You know what it is? She was looking at you when she was flashing, I remember, for real”, she said.
   “Oh, really? Wonder why I didn’t notice that.”
   “Come on, that girl was so into you. You were the love of her life.”
   “Was I? I thought we were just friends. She was such a nice person, I miss her a lot.”
   “Don’t you remember how she was always touching you? Making ‘nastasia crazy? Trust me, that girl loved you with all her teenage heart.”
   “I don’t know, I think it’s impossible. She was like that to everybody, no?”
   “No, dude, it was just for you. One night we were hanging out at my place, just us two girls, and she spilled the entirety of the tea. From the moment she set eyes on you you were her crush, and it kept the same even after everything that happened. Always trying to get your attention, but never having the opportunity to speak up, really.”
   “Wow, now that’s some lore I’ve been missing. But if you knew that, why didn’t you tell me anything?’
   “Tell you what? She was going to declare one day or another, but the day never really came. First came the Cicada girl, and then she left you in shambles; then was Anastasia, that fucked up all our lives, and then, even, Sofia. You were always either engaged with the love of your life or falling into a bottomless pit. Destiny never gave a chance for her star to shine. At least not in the way she wanted, most of her life.”
   And then we fell into silence. Cars passed by, people passed by, the sun slurred downwards up in the sky before I could say a word.
   “It’s funny how everything went wrong for us, isn’t it? Still can’t shake the feeling that, at the end of the day, it was all my fault. It honestly feels like a curse, like I was chosen to suffer for the sins of another life, of another person. Never deserved it, nobody around me ever deserved it, but I destroyed their lives and mine anyway. So many people I have killed, so many souls I have broken; hopes, dreams, feelings of all kinds, paths that could’ve led to many riches, but ended up at the edge of a cliff. I wonder if one day I will have the courage to raise a child, to marry a loved one, knowing that nothing good awaits them in the future. I am too full of scars, my hands are too Judas-colored for me to accept my own self as deserving of happiness, you know?
   “Sorry for dragging you with me to this well of ours. I couldn’t give you death, so I gave you worse: my company. You’ve been so good to me, and I love you like Nuit loves Hadit, but seeing you here by my side is a message that says I have wronged. I’m sorry.”
   None of us said anything else for the rest of the day, but at her apartment door she kisses me goodbye, and we exchange smiles as promise of a later date.