THE LOST TAPES Vol.36

For so long I’ve waited
For what I thought was the right moment
To check on you, talk to you
Show you I have changed
Not the person I once was
But different, better,
with a new view of this new world
I wanted to love you again
and maybe get from you any kind of affection
Thinking twice, thrice, on what to say next
Spent the whole afternoon practicing a conversation
But you stopped me before I had the chance
And now what?
What can I do?
Am I really that unlikable
to not even deserve a second chance? 

***

maybe just show off pinky ring maybe
accept and be proud of my fate as a maiden 

***

baphomet printed on large black tee
protestant woman in her jeans skirt
don’t even look at me
when I say “good morning” 

***

Winter is coming
The neighborhood committee
Began to dress stray dogs
In cozy coats 

***

The trio walks down the avenue
Colored hair, short hair, puny accents on broken English
Skateboards and jean jackets; buttons, patches and heavy make-up
Grandma’s got face tats, walking behind them
Escorts the girls to the music store 

***

BBW
Beautiful flowery dress
Beautiful shiny gold watch
Wonderful orchid adorning her hair
Can’t stop talking — in a whiny voice — about herself 

***

if I vanish for a few days, don’t worry
maybe I’m just taking some time for myself
many problems not mine piling upon my back
so demanding, sorry for not being enough 

***

group of kids 10-14 years old
talk about buying fake air jordans
and passing out drunk at parties
Ten years have passed
and the cool kidz stayed just as bad 

***

   Curious faces, within dirty jams and boogaloo
   Same size, same shape
   Lucy, Satan’s daughters
   Calid color, destroy my coolness 

***

   A normal response as moan in the intimate
   To the fear of what’s far beyond
   Anticipation of death in the future
   Sight of death herself right now
   Though despair, astonishment
   Marvellous view of the knight in shining armor
   Come as saviour, messiah of the world under
   To rescue from the high tower up above
   Bring back to dust and into shadows
   A beautiful destiny in infinity

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

THE LOST TAPES Vol.49: ruination in foreign terror

plucked rose petals laid in a little glass coffin a trapped soul forced to nature's course the soft aroma of a beautiful flower   *** marriage on sight expected pregnancy lulling her days rolling on the couch whore by nature but for what?   ***    In a small, protestant little church    Five congregants and a minimal band    Dad’s on guitar, she plays the drums set    Black hair, black eyes, black nails    Thin, black sweater under a pentagram charm    Her black lips sigh, begging for a smoke    It’s a cold, depressing Sunday night    But at least she’s getting paid   Tourists don’t come around here Smoking pot, sitting on dead leaves We’ve broken all the lamps It’s been two months, nobody noticed The new piercing, tattoos, scars A black eye waiting to happen Half a bible, rolling joints Throwing rocks at the sewer creek Not a sound in the streets downtown but the winds whistling through empty alleys and an occasional small splash because there are no big rocks left   You don’t wan
Read more

Just another special day

    A birthday like any other    as special as they come    Woke up with the flu    now I can’t do the laundry    Drink my tea, avoid coffee    Maybe roomie will come at noon -  Gotta clean all this poo    and pee, special Betsy    At least someone is happy to see me      Mom remembered, like every year    Gave me the same line as always    Same I’ve heard over 21 times now    Didn’t answer my call, nobody did    Nobody so far, to wake me up at midnight    shake my shoulders and say...    It’s 8a.m. on a Saturday and my bones hurt      Too weak for chores    too sick for ice cream    Dog ate the modem cord     “Lie in bed all day    cartoons will take you away    from this world of chest pains    and misery and oblivion”    But my back hurts, 1800 hours    Nobody else is home and I’m crying    Needed out of there    Went out to smell a cigar    and the cold winds of a wintry weekend    But the drunk kids were laughing at me    Sitting alone, at the empty park    My head hurts, my eyes
Read more

THE LOST TAPES Vol.50: nothing special

Memories can be so faulty When you are drunk all the time Month-long trip feels like it never happened What am I doing with my life? Booze and molly Snorting ashes of the deceased Throwing up bloody foam into the toilet What good is  this life? Pluck out the party stopper Let’s pee on somebody’s porch Rain terror upon this land Let us pull our brains out Kill the first breathing thing we see Break lamps and church windows Suck each other off in the middle of the street I don’t owe this place two fucks You shouldn’t either So, let’s seize the night Only the sun can stop us now But before then Our throats will be wide open   *** paracetamol cup noodles cachaça hoje tem   ***    A walk in the park    Dog socializes more than me    with the grumpy-looking men    sitting alone    on uncomfortable wooden benches   ***     “yeah, vivian, you ate two full plates of food” vivian said to herself   *** In a constantly changing reality and a city that so fearlessly advances what is a year when you
Read more